Session 4

Unhelpful thinking
styles

Thoughts are simply thoughts.

They cannot harm us, unless we let them.

We can choose to let thoughts go.

We can view them
as reality or recognise
them for what
they are: thoughts.

We can choose how we want to respond.

It impacts how we feel and what we do as a result of that thought.

Having gained insight into the matter, you can think about steps to help change
the way your young person thinks and process thoughts for the better.

Thinking styles

The types of language we use in relation
to our bodies is very important.

The hot cross bun model

Thoughts

Behaviours

Emotions

Physical sensation

Exploring unhelpful thinking styles can help your YP to
gain insight into the mental traps they may fall into.

These can significantly impact our lives!

Thoughts vs. facts

I'm too fat.

What does my GP say?

We all experience certain ‘cognitive distortions’ because of the experiences, practices or influences we’ve had in the past. Let’s consider what these might include!

If we learn to change the way we think, we’re able to better control our responses.

If I eat this bagel, I
will gain 10 pounds.

A bagel does not constitute enough calories for significant weight gain.

Unhelpful thinking
styles

Black and white thinking

Thinking in absolutes, for example thinking you are always a failure or always right.

"This food is good."
"This food is bad."

"If I’m not perfect, I
have failed."

Instead…

"Where is this
on a scale of
1-10?"

Overgeneralisation

Seeing a pattern based upon a single event,or being overly broad in the conclusions we draw.

"Everything is always rubbish"

"Everything in my life is horrible because my body is horrible."

"Nothing good ever happens."

Instead...

"Am I exaggerating the bad stuff? Did nothing good happen
at all?"

Mental filter

Only paying attention to certain types of evidence e.g. noticing failures but not success.

"When I look in the mirror all I see is things about my body I don’t like – not noticing how clear my skin is etc."

Instead…

"Am I filtering out the positives?"
"Am I wearing my negative glasses?"

Emotional reasoning

Concluding that one's emotional reaction proves something is true, despite contrary evidence.

"I feel guilty when I eat biscuits, therefore biscuits must be bad and I must be guilty."

Instead...

Remind your YP: feelings are a reaction
to thoughts, which are automatic brain reflexes…

Just because it feels bad doesn’t mean it is…

Jumping to conclusions

Forming an opinion or judgement
without all the facts needed to do so.

Ask yourself:

"Am I assuming I know what others are thinking? Those are my own thoughts, not theirs."

Instead, remind yourself:

Am I really thinking I can predict the future? Am I catastrophising – thinking the worst possible thing will happen? What is more likely to happen?

Disqualifying the positives

Rejecting positive experiences
by insisting they ‘don’t count’ for some
reason or another.

Notice

The internal bully is at it again.
What would my best friend say?

What is a more balanced way
of looking at this?

"They are only complimenting me because they feel sorry for me."

"I only passed the exam because it's easy."

"They are only telling me I look good because they feel sorry for me."

Labelling

Identifying with a specific self-image
based on a one-off incident or mistake made.

Notice

One word is too
simplistic! What is a more balanced way to look at it?

Labelling and mislabelling

Failed Once

Loser

Late for a few minutes

Irresponsible

Does not respond the way I want

Jerk

Your young person creates a negative self image based
on the errors they made.

Should statements

I should do this

I must do this

He should do this

She should do this

FAILURE

Frustrations

Shame

Guilt

You create pressure to yourself by saying
"I should do this" or "I must do that".

Should statements

Notice how often 'I should' or 'I must' occurs in your YP's thinking.

"I should only eat 'healthy' foods."

"I should exercise
today."

Ask

Am I setting impossible
expectations?